Random Thoughts: What’s the point?

There are times as a teacher and as a human being that you have these moments of hopelessness.  Those moments when you think “What’s the point?”  Those moments that I think of my friend Stephen who said soon after I met him – “What’s the point to anything?  We’re all gonna die in the end.”

I could feel myself losing my temper in a class recently – which was caused by my losing interest in the students that I was teaching. I was losing interest because there didn’t appear to be any improvement in the class – in fact – it really looked like they were going backwards.  Flung movements, uncompleted lines, the inability to learn the combinations and no discernable energy in their movement.  So the question is – “What’s the point?”  Why waste my time and energy?

My thoughts turn to a class of idiots that I was teaching several years ago.  The entire class stagnated for three years.  OK – maybe that was harsh.  They were fine the first year but from that point on – nothing.  It’s not that there wasn’t any talent in the room – there was – it was simply a matter of classroom dynamics.  In every group of people – you have individuals who rise as leaders – individuals who become enablers and individuals who become followers.  The dynamics of a group is dependent on the energy of the leader.  If the leader is daring, generous and positive – so will be most of the group.  If the leader is lazy, full of themselves and negative – again – so will be most of the group.  The leader of this particular class was the latter.  Now I’m not saying that this kid was this way on purpose – that was just their nature.  The result was a class that took the easy way out and never made any extra effort in their training – which meant that every class I taught them was exactly the same – no improvement whatsoever.

It got to the point where I actually lost my temper with this class and told them that they were substandard.  The leader of the class told me that my class was boring.  OK – on that point the kid was right – I was not about to move them forward in the technique until they could accomplish the basics of the current class.  We were at an impasse.  I decided to take another tactic.  I decided to teach the class one of my pieces – one of the first pieces that I had created for my own company.  Technically not that difficult – but energy wise it was a killer.  You either brought the energy or you didn’t complete the piece.  I always taught this piece in three sections – each not too hard to deal with but … when you put them all together … trust me – it separates those that can from those who only wish they could.  So what happened?  The leader got through the piece – walked to the edge of the room and threw up.  I think I made my point.

Thinking of this group – I have my answer.  Out of this loser of a class emerged one beautiful and accomplished dancer and another dancer/teacher that I am proud to call a friend.  I do it because someone in that class might actually need what I have to offer.  That’s the point.