Today my yoga instructor decided to try a different method of meditation – simply to observe – for two minutes. This I figured I could do – after all – I’ve spent an entire lifetime observing – that’s what I do – observe and reflect. Then she put some conditions on this observing – no judgements. Damn – this doesn’t sound fun at all. Then again – there that brief moment – months ago when I actually calmed down enough to get this whole meditation thing. For a nanosecond – I was one with the world. If I did it once – I could do it again.
So here’s how my two minutes of observing meditation went:
Aw – why does she want us to sit in this position? I hate this position. And what’s the point of the towel behind our knees? Maybe the point is to create excruciating pain in my calves. I’m sure that pain is not the purpose of this exercise. OK – pull it together – you will not die, you will not die, you will not die……I really hate this position. My knee hurts and my ankle feels weird. Did this position always hurt? Naw – I’m sure I could do this when I was younger. I wonder if I sit here long enough if my body would accept this position again? Yeah – right. I wonder if two minutes is up yet. Observe the third eye. I feel like my eyes are crossing. Maybe I’ll just look at that black line. Funny – I’ve never seen that black line before. Blue sparkly blob most of the time – sometimes violet. My leg is going to sleep. Is that because of this stupid position or because I’m heavier than I used to be? Hmm – if I stick my butt out – I don’t feel the pressure in my leg. Like sticking out my butt would ever be considered good posture. Then again – open mind – don’t judge. Aw damn it – my head itches. See – this is where this whole observation thing falls down the tube. Now that I know the itch is there – it itches more. Breath in, breath out – don’t scratch. Breath in, breath out – don’t scratch. Breath in, breath out – don’t scratch. Hmm – what? The two minutes are up?