Right before I was accepted into the ballet company, I was put into partnering classes – you know – men and women dancing together. Unlike the other girls in my class, I wasn’t overly thrilled with this aspect of my training and that was because I had a serious problem. I was hopelessly ticklish. The minute anyone put their hands around my waist, I would sink to the floor in a helpless fit of giggles. My teacher told me to knock it off which only made the situation worse. The more I told myself not to think about being ticklish, the more I was. It’s kind of like when someone tells you not to itch. Just the thought makes some part of your body start to get that annoying feeling. I reached a compromise with my partner. He would grab my waist strongly using his hands like mitts (no wandering fingers) and if I started to giggle, he would squeeze harder – to the point of pain. Pain takes your mind off of ticklishness.
Despite my progress I wasn’t really pleased about the partnering aspect of my training so I decided to broach the subject with the director. “Look sir,” I said to him, “I don’t think I was cut out for this partnering stuff. I mean – look at it. I can do four turns by myself. The guys always stop me after two. How is that helping? There’s got to be some place for women who don’t partner.” He told me to get my butt back into class and despite my early misgivings about partnering, I actually became quite good at it. When you find someone who you connect with – emotionally – it can really work. I’m not saying that the two of you are physically involved. It’s more like developing a sixth sense with that other person – knowing instinctively how and when they are going to move. Two bodies moving through space as one – it’s great when you can find it.
Now having said that, I would like to explain how in my earlier years I found it to be a bonus NOT like my partner. In fact – the more I detested the partner – the better. My first partner in the ballet company was Konrad and Konrad was a jerk. Brash, full of himself and convinced that he was god’s gift to women. Now that I look back on it – I probably developed excellent partnering skills because of Konrad. You absolutely CANNOT be tentative in partnering and every movement has to be done at full strength and commitment. Although it appears to the audience that the man is the major player in partnering duo – the woman has to be equal in strength. When you jump while going into a big lift, you need to be able to get your butt up to the man’s head. From there he goes with your momentum and straightens his arms. If you don’t jump – the man wastes a lot of energy getting you off of the ground and then isn’t able to sustain the overhead position for as long. Strength in the woman means that both partners are safe. Many female dancers have problems developing partnering skills because they are simply too concerned about hurting the man. I had absolutely no inhibitions about hurting Konrad. If I was told to jump into his arms from half way across the stage – I aimed for his head. As far as I was concerned, it was Konrad’s job to get out of the way and catch me. Konrad wasn’t a saint either. He loved to scare me. When coming out of an overhead lift, he’d let go and catch me when my nose was inches from the ground. Plus he liked to add pizzazzy little movements that weren’t in the choreography like changing a two handed catch to a one handed catch. With Konrad, I had to be ready for anything and if he got bruised in the process – I figured that it wasn’t my problem. We were a good pair.
I had a brief stint with another partner – and I mean brief – one rehearsal. We had been dating and when the director put us together – I was ecstatic. I mean, who doesn’t want the guy you’re crazy about putting his hands all over your body? It seemed like a win-win situation to me. We started the rehearsal and I made a mistake for which I stopped and profusely apologized. I made another mistake and again I stopped and apologized. If I had accidentally hit Konrad in the face, I would have given him a quick “sorry” and told him to keep his big fat face out of my way. With the boyfriend, I was tentative and filled with self-doubt. I really did not want to hurt him. Needless to say, that was the last time we danced together.
While the trust factor is essential in successful partnering relationships, it is also vitally important that you both have the same basic timing. Dancers don’t approach the accents in music the same. It really is a matter of how you hear and react to music. Some move right before the accent, some move right on the accent and some move just a little after. It’s a subtle difference and one that most people don’t even catch. In corps work – it’s not a big deal but in partnering it can make a load of difference. I’ll give you an example. In the Montreal company, I was paired Bertrand who was a fabulous partner for me because the two of us anticipated and moved before the musical accents. My husband Jacques was working with Angela and the two of them were also perfectly matched because they always ran a little behind the music. For some reason of which I don’t remember – the director switched us – Bertrand was to work with Angela and I was to work with Jacques. By the end of the performance week, Bertrand had bruised Angela’s ribs and I had sprained Jacques’ ankle. Angela was preparing to jump when Bertrand began to haul her into the air. I jumped into a lift while Jacques was just starting to prepare for it. Mismatched momentums can lead to injuries. The other thing that people tend to forget about is that although you are dancing together, somebody always has to be the leader. Sometimes it’s the man and sometimes it’s the woman. It’s a give and take situation and the sooner you can let go of your ego and work as a team – the better.