One of the dancers came into the studio hopping mad. Her neighbors had kept her awake all night with their noise so…before she left in the wee hours of the morning – she turned her radio up full blast and placed the speaker up against their adjoining wall. It wasn’t that act of revenge that surprised me – what surprised me was who was exacting the revenge. Both she and I had (in the past year) taken up yoga – and it’s not the physical transformation in yoga that is so profound – it is the mental shift – and trust me – revenge is NOT part of the scenario.
Honestly – I know revenge is wrong – have for years. Revenge is for small minds – for children – for medieval thinkers – you know – the undeveloped and/or the unevolved. But every now and then – something snaps in your brain and you want nothing more than the immediate gratification of a slap down.
It had been a long and brutal tour – one of those jobs that the minute you sign the contract – you begin to question your judgment and your sanity. It was one of those jobs that broke every union rule – too many hours travelling before a show, not enough days off, too few hours between calls (which is when you finish the show and travel versus when you have to get back on the bus for the next show). A job like this takes a steep toll on the body and surviving it is simply a matter of mind over body – a stubborn determination not to give in. One foot in front of another and don’t think about anything else.
The migraine headache started during the performance. Luckily there wasn’t a long trip back to home base after the show – we were actually staying in a hotel an hour away. When we got to the hotel – I checked the group in and immediately went to my room, closed the curtains and went to bed. Suddenly someone was pounding on my door. I stumbled through the darkened room and groped for the door. When I opened it – no one was there. “Idiots”, I thought as I went back to bed. Again – as I was dozing off – the pounding came again. Again I got up and again – the same results. The third time the pounding started, I sprang out the bed and ripped the door open in time to see two of the company dancers running down the hall giggling. They saw me and their mouths dropped open. I honestly can’t remember what I said to them at the time – but the rest of the evening passed in peace.
The next morning at breakfast – I was given a heartfelt apology from both of them. Apparently they thought someone else was in my room. In my mind – that really didn’t explain why two twenty-something year olds were acting like two five year olds BUT I wasn’t their mama – so what’s the point of lecturing someone on their behaviour. What I did say was – “I am going to get you back. Some day soon. You won’t know when it is going to happen but I can assure you that it will happen.” It was kind of a shame that I had to make good on my threat. It was a lot of fun watching them squirm and jump at every sound for the next week. Eventually I arranged a few “on stage” pranks – the sort that the audience isn’t aware of but the cast instantly recognizes as a “Plan B”. On stage pranks really wake up the mind – you have to react quickly to something out of the ordinary. One victim – uh – dancer reacted quickly and had a blast with the entire scenario. The other panicked and pretty much had a meltdown. Oh well.
This might have been revenge – but I preferred to think of it as payback – which brings me to karma. The need for revenge comes from anger and with the help of yoga and inner reflection – I have worked hard to let go of anger. Generally – I don’t find joy in those moments when bad things happen to bad people – but……every now and then (let me apologize to my yoga teacher now and say that I’m working on this) – a satisfying smile comes to my face.
I’m thinking. I’ll be back.