Having toured across France many times, playing in large cities and small towns – I have come to the conclusion that wherever there was a grouping of twelve houses, they put up a theatre. OK – I might be exaggerating – but you cannot deny that they love their culture. Tours through France always put the dancers in a bad mood and I have my own theory as to why that always happened. HUNGER. Now, you’re probably wondering how a group of people can go hungry in a country known for its culinary delights. It all came down to two things: the hours they ate and their definition of what constitutes a breakfast. I’m big on eating a large and healthy breakfast when I’m on a performance schedule. At home, during rehearsal periods, breakfast is not as important. You really don’t want to pack down a large breakfast at eight o’clock because come nine o’clock you’ll be twisted in some upside down position that moves your breakfast into your throat. With a performance schedule, your eating habits change. The most important factor is to have maximum energy at eight o’clock at night and maintain that energy level for a couple of hours. With a lot of us, this meant that our normal eating patterns reversed – a massive breakfast, a small lunch, no food after four o’clock and a good meal after the show. It worked beautifully.
In France, starting the day with a big breakfast was out. We were given a piece of bread and a cup of coffee. I’m sure that eggs were available to the guests of the higher-end hotels but that’s not where we were staying. You know – I have a theory as to why most Frenchmen are short – they don’t start their day with a healthy meal – but I digress. While most of France was eating their lunch or afternoon meal – we were in rehearsal. When we were done with rehearsal – the stores closed for the afternoon. While most of France was eating their evening meal – we were in performance. By the time we finally got back to the hotel and were ready to eat – the restaurants were closed. It meant weeks of starvation breakfasts and living off of delicatessen food – and that was only the food that didn’t spoil when we stored it in our hotel rooms. While in Nantes, we did manage to talk one restaurant owner into staying open later. Unfortunately, we were performing in different locations around Nantes and didn’t always make it back in time. There was nothing worse than driving up to the hotel at night and seeing the adjacent restaurant already closed for the night. Hunger pangs have a tendency to make you really crabby.
After two weeks of solid work, we finally had a day off and in happy anticipation, Jacques and I went to one of the nicer restaurants. A hot meal – it was so exciting! I had ordered a steak and when it arrived, I cut into it only to find that the meat was completely raw. The chef had obviously just quickly seared both sides. I took one look at it and burst into tears. Jacques came to the rescue. He called the waiter and explained that the steak needed to be cooked North American style – in other words – really cook it. The waiter registered his disgust – but he did as Jacques asked. Who knew the French weren’t big on cooking meat? It was also during this period that I discovered the perils of French coffee. Don’t get me wrong – it’s delicious. A word of caution. Don’t drink it like you drink our watered down stuff. Four cups of the stuff and you’ll be shaking for hours.
With the exception of Paris and a few of the larger cities where the restaurants stayed open later, carting sacks of food around with us became the only way to survive. Surprisingly – no one dropped a lot of weight. Must have been the bread – most of us were living off of it. Our director was pretty crazy when it came to weight. You had to be skinny. Not fat and not skeletal. God help you if you had gained any weight. She’d follow you around and literally take food away from you. I am not exaggerating on this. As neurotic as she was about her dancers gaining any extra weight, she was just as neurotic about anyone showing any signs of anorexia. In retrospect – I guess you could look at this as a positive. A lot of companies could care less if their dancers are slowly starving to death – as long as they are keeping up with the work. It was during one of the French tours, she became concerned about two of the dancers in the company – Angela and Brian. Both of Angela and Brian were very thin. The director was sure that they were anorexic so she watched them like a hawk to make sure they were eating. Her paranoia about Brian and Angela wasn’t her own fault. Yes – it was at a time when anorexia and bulimia were big in the news – but I’m telling you that the woman was set up. She had been getting on the case of another dancer for weight gain who was close friends with Angela and Brian. Angela and Brian just decided it was payback time. They purposely sat in the seats behind the director on the tour bus and started a conversation that they knew she would overhear AND that they knew would drive her over the edge. It usually went something like this: “I don’t think I’ve eaten anything today, did you?” “No and I can’t remember if I ate anything yesterday either.” On top of this, they never let a morsel of food touch their lips while the director was present. They would get the woman worked up and then sit back and enjoy the show. This went on for most of the tour. Trust me – they both ate like horses.
I may not have survived many places ‘food wise’ – but I think I would have survived France – love bread!