Someone recently apologized to me for calling me \u201cDeb\u201d. I, for one have never been overly attached to my name, simply because I\u2019ve always disliked it. \u201cDeb\u201d is what my mother calls me, \u201cDebbie\u201d is my professional name, \u201cDeborah\u201d is on my birth certificate, \u201cDebsa\u201d is what one of my dancers used to call me, \u201cDebbeleeinskichuck\u201d is what one colleague calls me, \u201cDeebee\u201d is how one director pronounced my name and for several months I answered to the name of \u201cSusan\u201d. One dance teacher just couldn\u2019t remember my name and somehow settled on \u201cSusan\u201d. He was mortified when he found out he had been using the wrong name but as I told him, I knew who he was talking to\u2026so all was good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So much emphasis is paid to using people\u2019s names. When you use someone\u2019s name, it tells that person that they are important enough to remember. Plus, using a person\u2019s name in a positive environment imprints on their brain, thereby associating you and the activity involved with contentment. Although that also applies to negative environments. My mother using my birth name plus my middle name meant I was in BIG trouble. Even now, hearing those two names together makes me wary. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
All of us have been conditioned since childhood, upon hearing our names, to stop and listen to what is being said. In a classroom setting, that\u2019s powerful thing. I once worked in a yoga studio where the director wanted all of his teachers to use the students\u2019 names during the class. While I understood his logic for the reasons I just stated, I didn\u2019t comply with his rule for several reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I personally do not like it when teachers use my name in a class. I am known in some professional circles of the city, and while it\u2019s nice to be recognized for the value that you bring to a group, I also value my privacy. I practice yoga for my physical and mental health. For me, it is a private time within a community setting where my place in the world is simply one small cog among many. A reflection of the big picture. I have also had a few stalkers in my life, one of which is still active. Hearing my name called out in a public setting always makes my breath catch and who wants a panic attack in a yoga class, even if it only lasts a few seconds? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Using people\u2019s names in a classroom setting shifts the dynamics of a room. When you call out a person\u2019s name in a class, other students notice. They notice who gets attention, and who is not getting attention which leads to self-doubt and dissatisfaction. So, unless you prepared to say the name of every single student in the room, don\u2019t use any of them. That\u2019s what creates a truly equitable environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At that particular studio, I watched how the use of names in the practice room had led to a sense of privilege among some of the students, and while I was glad that the queen bees created a close sense of community and belonging with the studio and with the studio director, I also became very aware of the state of exclusion that was created for others. They were the students who left the practice room feeling isolated and ignored. They were the students who changed their clothes silently in the corner of the dressing room. They were the students who silently took their coats and slid out the door without looking back. They were the students who never returned to the studio. I do recognize that using people\u2019s names is an incredible asset and I do recognize that it leads to easier communication, but it still does not change my positions on inclusion or respect for privacy. To make sure that everyone feels welcomed into the studio means you have to create a level playing field. I use no one\u2019s name in the room (unless I am right next to them, and only they can hear me).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Someone recently apologized to me for calling me “Deb”. I, for one have never been overly attached to my name, simply because I’ve always disliked it. “Deb” is what my mother calls me, “Debbie” is my professional name, “Deborah” is on my … Continue reading