Serge was a volatile personality and as such \u2013 was a volatile choreographer.\u00a0 He would say that he was passionate but \u2013 trust me – that\u2019s the opinion of someone on the \u201cgiving\u201d end versus the \u201creceiving\u201d end.\u00a0 Passionate?\u00a0 That\u2019s simply another way of saying his mama didn\u2019t teach him any self control.\u00a0 Along with the constant screaming, he liked to throw things \u2013 especially cigarette lighters \u2013 which would not have been a problem in that they\u2019re light \u2013 they don\u2019t leave a bruise when they hit \u2013 BUT in Yugoslavia at the time \u2013 it was almost impossible to find a replacement.\u00a0 A couple of lighters a week would bite the dust in Serge\u2019s tirades and inevitably we\u2019d be back on the hunt for a new one \u2013 going from kiosk to kiosk to find someone who had one that they would sell you.\u00a0 That was another interesting thing about Yugoslavia in those days.\u00a0 Just because the vendors had the merchandise didn\u2019t necessarily mean that they would sell it to you.\u00a0 The government announced one day that milk prices were going up at the end of the week and all the vendors simply hoarded the dairy products until the price changed.\u00a0 You could see the milk \u2013 you just couldn\u2019t buy it.\u00a0\u00a0 Anyway \u2013 back to my story.\u00a0 One day as Serge was reaching his boiling point, he made a grab for the lighter \u2013 but I was quicker and snatched it away yelling \u201cNot the lighter!\u201d\u00a0 He threw a chair instead.\u00a0\u00a0 Then he stormed out of the studio only to return a minute later (still screaming), pick up a metal trashcan and throw that too \u2013 just in case everyone hadn\u2019t gotten the point.\u00a0 The chair and the trashcan survived the attack and I had the satisfaction of knowing that I had saved myself from yet another lighter hunt.<\/p>\n
Serge\u2019s temper tantrums were a daily event.\u00a0 It was almost part of the schedule. Get up, have breakfast, walk to theatre, go to rehearsal, Serge throws a tantrum, take a break, go back to rehearsal, etc.\u00a0 We were working on the Act One crowd scene and he wanted a dramatic group fist shake.\u00a0 OK \u2013 no problem.\u00a0 We listened to the music and he decided that the gesture should be done on count two.\u00a0 I walked around the room, making sure that everyone was clear \u201cDva, dva, dva\u201d \u2013 yep, everyone\u2019s got it.\u00a0 The next day the group executed the gesture on count two and Serge went ballistic.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s the wrong timing \u2013 everyone\u2019s an idiot \u2013 blah, blah, blah\u201d.\u00a0 I jumped in \u201cSerge, that\u2019s where you wanted it yesterday\u201d.\u00a0 \u201cGod dammit Debbie, I\u2019m the choreographer and I can do whatever I want.\u201d\u00a0 Well \u2026.. yeah, he\u2019s right.\u00a0 So we established that he wanted the gesture on count three.\u00a0 Again I walked among the cast to clarify \u201cTri, Tri, Tri\u201d.\u00a0 OK \u2013 everyone\u2019s got it.\u00a0 Would you believe that we went through this exact same scene for two more days with the damn number changing daily?\u00a0\u00a0 Serge\u2019s verbal abuse towards the cast and me continued to escalate.\u00a0 By day four I had had it.\u00a0 I stood up and said \u201cLook, I did not come to Yugoslavia to put up with this shit\u201d and walked out, got dressed and started back to the hotel.\u00a0 I had barely left the theatre when I heard footsteps behind me.\u00a0 It was Serge.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong\u201d he asked.\u00a0 With that I broke into a screaming tirade of abuse.\u00a0 Serge begged me to lower my voice.\u00a0 I screamed that I didn\u2019t give a damn who heard me and beside that \u2013 no one could understand me anyway.\u00a0 The moment I ran out of steam, I swirled around to continue my march back to the hotel.\u00a0 Serge\u2019s brother was standing right in front of me with his mouth open.\u00a0 \u201cTake him \u2013 He\u2019s your brother\u201d I barked while stomping past him.\u00a0 This brings me to a point that I have always found ironic.\u00a0 Serge lost his temper constantly around large groups of people that on the whole could have cared less what he thought.\u00a0 I, on the other hand, rarely lost my temper to the same degree and yet when I did \u2013 I was always caught making a total ass of myself in front of people whose opinions mattered to me.\u00a0 Damn.<\/p>\n
Having grown up in the ballet hierarchy where I\u2019ve been wrong most of my life, it was no big stretch to settle into the role of assistant (or slave).\u00a0 I also grew up with negative reinforcement.\u00a0 It was (and in some instances still is) the accepted way of teaching dance.\u00a0 While you train, the teacher berates you for your mistakes.\u00a0 While you rehearse, the rehearsal master berates you for your mistakes.\u00a0 I really can\u2019t remember a time when someone would tell me what I did right while they were correcting me.\u00a0 For the fragile egos of a lot of dancers, this is their life.\u00a0 You end up developing your own method of self-defense whether it is to be incredibly submissive or irritatingly argumentative and defiant (I was the second type).\u00a0 I don\u2019t like to use negative reinforcement when I work.\u00a0 I prefer to point out the positive aspects of a dancer\u2019s technique, interpretation and movement while encouraging improvement in other aspects.\u00a0 On this point, Serge, the Macedonian rehearsal masters and I didn\u2019t see eye to eye.\u00a0 We were rehearsing one of the big crowd scenes and the corps de ballet was pathetic, doing nothing except standing around and looking bored \u2013 a Dragi and Dragi moment.\u00a0 Serge and the Rehearsal Mistress Sonja were yelling at the group with the usual mixture of insults and pleas for the group to become more animated and energetic.\u00a0 There was no improvement whatsoever.\u00a0 Serge threw himself into the chair next to me in frustration.\u00a0 I leaned over to him, \u201cYou don\u2019t know how to rehearse.\u201d\u00a0 He looked at me.\u00a0 \u201cYou think you could do better?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cI KNOW I could do better.\u201d\u00a0 He thought about it for a moment and said, \u201cOK, if you and Sonja can get this group together, I will buy each of you a silver necklace.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cOK,\u201d I said, \u201cBut you can\u2019t be in the room.\u201d<\/p>\n
I arrived for the next rehearsal to find that Sonja was nowhere to be found.\u00a0 OK, I was going to have to pull this one off by myself with my rudimentary Macedonian.\u00a0 I greeted the cast and promptly dismissed all the soloists and principals.\u00a0 I then turned to the pianist and asked her to play the scene.\u00a0 The corps de ballet stood in confusion while the music played.\u00a0 I waited and let their confusion build.\u00a0 Five minutes later when the music finished, I looked at the dancers.\u00a0 \u201cDo you feel stupid?\u201d I asked.\u00a0 My question was translated by the few that spoke English.\u00a0 \u201cWell people, here is my point.\u00a0 This ballet is not just about the soloists.\u00a0 The heart of this work is you.\u00a0 If you\u2019re not good, the ballet isn\u2019t good.\u00a0 I have watched all of you outside of the studio and you are a very animated group of people.\u00a0 Take what you do naturally, bring it onto the stage and the audience will love you.\u201d\u00a0 I challenged them to find their own interpretations and create their own characters and story lines.\u00a0 Walking around the room for the next half hour, I helped create scenarios and encouraged outrageous behavior.\u00a0 At the end of the rehearsal, Serge came in.\u00a0 They did the scene for him and it was perfect.\u00a0 I looked at Serge, \u201cI want gold.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWhat?\u201d he said.\u00a0 \u201cI want a gold necklace.\u00a0 Sonja didn\u2019t show up.\u201d\u00a0 I got my gold necklace and the ballet was a success.\u00a0 <\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Serge was a volatile personality and as such – was a volatile choreographer. He would say that he was passionate but – trust me – that’s the opinion of someone on the “giving” end versus the “receiving” end. Passionate? That’s … Continue reading