Hate is a strong word

Some kid recently said to me “I know you hate me”.  Hate you?  Honestly kid – I really don’t hate many people in this world.  The kid who destroyed one of my pieces over a year ago – don’t hate him.  I’m extremely disappointed and I’m sorry that he’s too insecure to be able to tackle difficult tasks.  I wish I had had the time and patience to deal with his problems – but I don’t hate him.  The ballerina that made my life difficult for a few years – don’t hate her.  I simply wish that circumstances could have been different – but – they weren’t – so all I can hope for is that she will forgive me as I have forgiven her for our harsh words and actions.

I think the emotion of hate is for the insecure and the ignorant – and when I say ignorant – I’m putting all forms of prejudice in that category.   We’ve all had those moments when a blinding rage takes over our bodies but it’s really a question of how long that rage remains in our system that we get to the issue of hate.  Hate is the result of a rage that stays with you.  Removing hate from your life is a goal that all of us should strive for and that starts with rage.  Not allowing rage to enter your consciousness would be the ideal – but if that isn’t possible – then letting go of the rage as quickly as possible is the next best thing.  Hate only hurts the person that holds it.

Now having said that – I must admit that while I don’t hate many people – there are a few kinds of people I try to stay away from – people who spout prejudice, people who’ve lied to me a lot, people who celebrate the superficial, etc.   I know that nobody’s perfect and that there are few people in this world who have not done at least one thing that they are ashamed of.  I personally have a long list of things I shouldn’t have done – but you can’t change the past – you can only learn from your mistakes and try to make things better.  I think that if you’ve knowingly wronged someone – you need to make a sincere apology and/or restitution.  Making mistakes – recognizing those mistakes – doing what we can to fix those mistakes – those are the things that bring us closer to our fellow human beings – allowing us to empathize and understand.  I’m dealing with a bully issue again and I can truly see no point in yelling at the young bully – seriously – what good will it do beyond making an insecure kid more insecure?  All I can do is create an environment where the bully and victim can heal together and see each other for they really are – wonderful and relevant human beings.  Aiding others to remove hate from their lives starts with your own life.


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1 Response to Hate is a strong word

  1. Lua says:

    Well said Debs.

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