Some kid recently said to me “I know you hate me”. Hate you? Honestly kid – I really don’t hate many people in this world. The kid who destroyed one of my pieces over a year ago – don’t hate him. I’m extremely disappointed and I’m sorry that he’s too insecure to be able to tackle difficult tasks. I wish I had had the time and patience to deal with his problems – but I don’t hate him. The ballerina that made my life difficult for a few years – don’t hate her. I simply wish that circumstances could have been different – but – they weren’t – so all I can hope for is that she will forgive me as I have forgiven her for our harsh words and actions.
I think the emotion of hate is for the insecure and the ignorant – and when I say ignorant – I’m putting all forms of prejudice in that category. We’ve all had those moments when a blinding rage takes over our bodies but it’s really a question of how long that rage remains in our system that we get to the issue of hate. Hate is the result of a rage that stays with you. Removing hate from your life is a goal that all of us should strive for and that starts with rage. Not allowing rage to enter your consciousness would be the ideal – but if that isn’t possible – then letting go of the rage as quickly as possible is the next best thing. Hate only hurts the person that holds it.
Now having said that – I must admit that while I don’t hate many people – there are a few kinds of people I try to stay away from – people who spout prejudice, people who’ve lied to me a lot, people who celebrate the superficial, etc. I know that nobody’s perfect and that there are few people in this world who have not done at least one thing that they are ashamed of. I personally have a long list of things I shouldn’t have done – but you can’t change the past – you can only learn from your mistakes and try to make things better. I think that if you’ve knowingly wronged someone – you need to make a sincere apology and/or restitution. Making mistakes – recognizing those mistakes – doing what we can to fix those mistakes – those are the things that bring us closer to our fellow human beings – allowing us to empathize and understand. I’m dealing with a bully issue again and I can truly see no point in yelling at the young bully – seriously – what good will it do beyond making an insecure kid more insecure? All I can do is create an environment where the bully and victim can heal together and see each other for they really are – wonderful and relevant human beings. Aiding others to remove hate from their lives starts with your own life.